The Return - Part 1
Slowly integrating into my homecoming after a pilgrimage around Scotland.
Photo by yours truly - Isle of Skye - Road to Elgol.
It's been a week since I returned home from my trip to Scotland. We covered a lot of ground in two weeks, chasing the magic and accepting what medicine it had to offer. I landed back in time for my body to regain its rhythm after two weeks of an intense mixture of awe and processing, and it did so by being consumed by the 'airplane crud' that could only be appeased by a lot of sleep.
I wanted to write sooner about what I learned thus far from this pilgrimage, but my body had other needs, curtailed by the crud and jet lag, a symbolic way our bodies digest and integrate intense journeys - both inner and outer.
Pilgrimage requires spaciousness
We can examine pilgrimage from the perspective of stages, but we can also view it as a shift in our lens of perspective. In stages, we can think of the before as preparation and separation, the during as the pilgrimage itself, and then the homecoming and the boon of the return.
But if we approach it as a way of seeing, then it's much more about the mindset with which we approach it. The mindset of searching, wanting, and surrendering to a desire to venture into a space - physical or experiential - with an open mind, receptive to what that space has to offer. It is less about controlling and more about receptiveness. Being open and ready for awe.
And for that, we need space within and without. Without being overly concerned with the actual planning of the journey - traveling light by packing both less stuff and fewer expectations and activities. Here's where my tourist self fell short: I packed a bit too much, both in terms of luggage and the number of places and things we wanted to see. In hindsight, I would have left more open space in my days—more time for reverie and spontaneity. Live and learn. It's hard to juggle the FOMO we're fed in our culture with a more essentialist attitude. Work in progress.
So if without is lacking in spaciousness, then it's how we create space within ourselves to stay open to receiving. That took some doing for me because, for the first few days, I found myself anxiously searching for the magic, being a bit pushy with my expectations and the need to control how I should be feeling. Control spoils being able to be present with what is in the moment and getting into rhythm with the place. Pilgrimage is relational to the place, and if we're in control mode, we miss what the place has to offer. The land doesn't care to speak to us in our modern parlance of go-go. It shuts down and hides its gems.
Photo by yours truly - Isle of Skye, Scotland.
Seeing is relational - how we approach seeing something determines how it will reveal itself to us.
And here is where beauty saves the day. Beauty delivers us the opportunity to experience awe, which in turn puts us in rhythm with the place and the journey. Awe shakes us off old programming and makes us more receptive. And giving ourselves inner spaciousness makes room for awe. Rush and speed keep us unrooted, starved, and unable to step out of time and be in awe.
Photo by yours truly - Orkney, Scotland
Transported by colors
We were fortunate to have the weather on our side during this journey. There were many sunny days, rainbows, and gentle rain, but nothing that impeded us from being out and about. As the light played throughout the day, rain followed by the sun, clouds swept by the winds, and rainbows punctuated the transition, Scotland revealed itself to us in glorious colors. I could see how the tweed reflected the unabashed colors of the land and the waters.
It caught me by surprise because I had traveled there before, but this time, the colors played on my heartstrings like a harp. Perhaps it's the stage of life I find myself in, or my ability to see has amplified, but the aliveness of the colors kept me in awe. For me, the colors were an entrance into the Otherworld. That thought made me realize how hungry I've been for the unseen realms and how long I've been feeling this 'old soul fatigue' for what's been unfolding in our times. I wanted the colors to transport me to the selkie realms, deep under the loch or the North Sea, swept away. Alas, they didn't come and get me. Perhaps next time.
Rainbow over Loch Ness - No better welcome for Nessie!
A land's love language
If we view a pilgrimage as a relational journey, we can observe how the land reveals itself to us. Back in 2022, while traveling through Ireland, I spoke to the land before landing, thanking it for welcoming us, and at every turn, I made sure to show gratitude for its warm hospitality. In my experience, Ireland felt more approachable and flirtatious even as it revealed itself to us. The magic of the place was palpable. There was a light-footedness to it, whimsical and playful, even.
Scotland felt more reticent at first, as it kept its propriety. The impression I had was that its magic, much like I felt in England and Wales, is deeply buried and only expressed to those patient and deserving of it. But Scotland had other ways to show its welcome. It felt to me that its language of love is 'acts of service.' Whenever we needed anything —such as an easily accessible toilet, a gas station, food, or for the rain to stop so we could do our hike —the land provided. It practically anticipated our needs in a discreet and unobtrusive manner. I was grateful for the practical showing of its welcome. While I may not have met the Selkies or fairies, the land made sure we were taken care of at all times.
On a practical level, one may say this was just coincidence - that dangerous and oft-used word that to me feels like a backhanded compliment to when magic and synchronicities visit us. I choose to see it as a welcoming gesture and an expression of how when we venture forth on pilgrimage, helpers will always show up. We're not alone, but with a gracious perspective, we will find ourselves always held and cared for.
For now, I'll pause on this reflection on the return integration of a pilgrimage. More to come in the next post covering elemental medicine and the bones of the dead.
