A few years ago I was inspired to write Mercury’s Memoirs.

I handmade the journal, chose pictures, as if they were his scrapbook photos to illustrate his MERmories, and downloaded his thoughts.
At the time, Mercury was Retrograde in Cancer, so it was fitting to write his memories.

He’s now Retrograde again, and his memories can still serve us as we journey through his ‘backward’ dance in the heavens.

The pen is now in Mercury’s hands. Read on…

This is my journal, while I’m in Retrograde….to those in the know…

I’m Mercury or Hermes. The god of many names and places.

I did get around in my time. Now I travel by different means. But always quickly, despite my age.
I’ve aged well and have adapted to the times.
I love the times now, much more fitting for me. But even I get nostalgic from time to time.
Thus my MERmories…

I’m taking some days to slow down from my travels.

Even for one, such as myself, who is an experience traveler, being on the go does get to you.

So about three times a year, I try to take it slow, breathe in the flowers, enjoy the scenery as you humans call it.
Still others find these retreats of mine a horrible nuisance, never failing to go on and on about how it just messes up the flow of their ever faster world.

Truthfully that just amuses me.
Really, the gall!

If it wasn’t for me, they wouldn’t have built this enmeshed web of trade and communications.
But that’s not what I’m here to talk about now.

Every time I travel Retrograde style, I just feel this hankering to get pen to paper and write my memoirs.
It makes me nostalgic for the good old days of virgin nymphs, trade with real gold coins, and easy traffic between all the worlds.

Now it’s congestion and traffic jams even on the way to my brother Hades’ lair.
I hear that Charon had to upgrade his payment system to Bitcoin.
Even Hades is moving on with the times.

But all this efficiency and productivity takes away some of the romanticism out of life.
Even I, not much given to romantic notions, feel nostalgic for those days. Retrograde days make me feel so nostalgic!

Humans say I’m going retrograde, which for them spells nuisance. Still this is my chance to put the record straight.

There are many biographies about me out there, spewing more half truths and some outright lies.
Don’t get me wrong, I thrive in that kind of mischief, getting everyone confused.
But at the end of the day, they are talking about me, and that makes me feel less forgotten.

If you remember anything from reading these ramblings from an old god is this: despite my youthful appearance (without the need for plastic surgery – having godly genes is definitely a plus) – I feel old too.

Not like my grandfather Saturn.

He was old even as a baby.

I feel that I have seen much, done more and that makes me feel worn out, too streetwise for my own good, and perhaps even a little jaded.

What upsets me is that most humans don’t know that side of me.
They only focus on my youthful side, proliferating the image of my younger years.

I’m more than that.

Even I couldn’t escape Saturn’s boney fingers.
I also had to wise up with the passage of time.

No god is immune to that.
Sad as it may be. Yet this has shaped me to become the best version of myself.

In my youth, I was given to the excitement of stealing, using cunning and wile to get my way.

I was a commitment-phobe, preferring to prey on innocent nymphs and virgins that couldn’t escape my advances.
I’ve sired children that I never held in my arms or learned their names.
I thieved like the best of them, and not always kept the best of companies either.

I followed my father’s orders and went where no other god could or dared go.

Those dangerous missions gave me more excitement than I care to admit, even though I took them with my usual nonchalant manner.
Being the messenger gave me power and at times invisibility to flee without being noticed.

I was privy to all manners of serious messages and fleeting gossip. I basked in all that power and freedom.

I loved being a bachelor, a true free agent for my father Zeus.

Nevertheless, time got to me.

Even all that traveling around grew tiring and boring.
And boredom is my nemesis!

It always left me with hives.
I grew neurotic, and also sad to see how the humans faired not better with the arrival of the one god – but that’s another story, for another book!

I just wanted to help humans in some way.
I wanted to impart with them some of the knowledge I had acquired from my travels.

That’s when I first noticed that I was no longer just thinking of myself.

Mom had always said I was just too full of myself.
I agree with her!

All the bravado and gumption was my own way to process my parents’ failed union.
I too was the son of a failed relationship.

Father had many qualities, but making a commitment to a woman, goddess or not, was not part of his life’s motto.

Sadly I followed his footsteps.

I couldn’t commit – ever.
Except one time when I got with Aphrodite.

That may have been just a one stand for her, but I can no longer hide that if she had been ready to leave Hephastus, and run off with me, I would have left my bachelor days.

Instead she chose my brother Ares.
Females never fail to amaze me in their choices of partners.

Ares, really?

Crass, brach and bloodthirsty?
Let’s not dawdle in this part of my life. Moving on….

Even the puer has to grow up one day.

Thanks to Saturn’s disciplinarian ways, I learned to focus my mind.
Wonders did it do for myself and the humans who associated with me.

As a messenger of the gods, one learns a thing or two.

In my travels I picked up many interesting facts. With time I got wiser and fashioned all that in a blanket of knowledge, which I imparted with a select few.

They called it the Emerald Tablet and renamed me Hermes Trismegistus.

I no longer wear my winged shoes or hat, but my long priestly robe.

It makes me look older, but respectful, and that can go a long way into the hearts of gods and men.

Becoming Hermes Trismegistus was the best rebranding I ever did, for it truly gave me a new perspective about my role in this world.

I had moved from just being the messenger, to being the wise one that imparts metaphysical truths and helps humans through their soul transformation.

Thanks for my involvement in alchemy, I was riding high for many centuries, especially during the Middle Ages and Renaissance.
I remember those centuries with fondness.

Now I’m no longer revered as I was in Greece, Rome or by the medieval alchemists.

The humans now are more connected to the older version of my brand – winged feet and hat to adorn flower delivery services and postage stamps.

Humans now are enamored of speed for the sake of connection. They prefer me to be a poster boy for communication, exchange and trade.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to be of help, and I may confess, I thrive in the chaotic floor of the stock exchange.
Even I fell prey to the modern world addiction for speed.

Nevertheless, there are those humans that want to connect with my alchemical side.

They are looking for me in their own inner alembic vessel.
They silently pray for my aid in assessing their deeper truths.
They call on me to be their psychopomp and guide them to their own underworld.

I too feel alive embarking in those internal adventures.
It feeds my Virgo side of wanting to be of service to something larger than myself.

Being a delivery man, a con man, an exchange rate wiz burning up the exchange floor may fuel my Gemini self.

However, much like Gemini, I feel more alive when I can have my many sides find outlets in the physical world, creating many versions of myself.

Humans may be looking for singularity, but I am here to teach them about the beauty and magic of multiplicity.

This journal is not finished.

Many adventures still to be recounted and lived.

When I’m not retrograde it’s time to forge ahead.
On my next retrograde, I’ll share more.

Until then call on me when you need to expand your horizons or visit the Underworld.
Email me at bettercallhermes@mercuryexpress.com